Oh hey *cough dbag cough* call me?


imageSo as I’ve said before I am single or as I like to call it independent. I’ve been single off and on for about three years now. Although I’ve dated a few guys, nothing has really sparked or it has fizzled out before turning into wildfire. Let me give you the play by play.

1) I decided to date a guy that was a little hefty. Let’s call him Shrek. He seemed really kind and sweet despite his ogre like appearance.Ā  He quickly alienated my friends trying to find personal information out about me. He also started bashing my body shape. I know I was thinner and curvier prebaby, thanks for pointing that out. Ultimate dbag move. So goodbye to Sir Shrek.


2) Mr. long distance and I were friends for a couple of years before a night of random face sucking. We both decided we were interested in pursuing more. Only downfall, he was leaving the province the next day! Worst timing ever right? Mr. long distance and I had a long six month Skype relationship with only two weekends spent together. Believe me those two weekends were a blast. Ultimately our lifestyles were completely different and the distance just became too much.

3) The best of the worst, Mr. drunky monkey. I fell head over heels for a guy that could not have been any more wrong for me. He was just so good looking and said everything right. You know the type. Rough around the edges, mysterious and a challenge to tame. He was amazing with my children and praised me all the time for doing so well as a single parent. We had so much in common and would often stay up all night talking. Sadly, he was always drunk and I learned that I don’t have the power to fix alcoholism. I hope that he someday gets the help that he needs though.

4) Mmmm the sexy rock star. He used to play in a band, sings and plays guitar. He was ultra hip and always had something cool to say. I completely dig the sexy, shaggy, tattooed, tortured type. Could this guy get any hotter. Answer is yes, mystery is only hot for so long. Slap a smile on and stop being so tortured already. The sexy rock star was fun for a bit. We definitely had our ups and downs until he started referring to me as his “friend.” Advice guys, be straight up about your intentions.

5) The hot mess, OK this guy had 99 problems but this chick ain’t one. He seemed very quiet and reserved in the beginning. Honestly I found him boring but my friends and family encouraged me to pursue him because I have a history of dating d bags. He did send me a rose after our first date, ridiculously cute right.

Well he just became so awkward after about a week of dating. Almost like a blank canvas at an art show. I’m somewhat outgoing so I don’t want to be pulling teeth to make conversation.Ā  I think it should just kind of flow. Turns out hot mess was really insecure, didn’t know how to make friends of his own and was recovering from a bad marriage that partially ended due to alcoholism.

Long story short he started hanging out with one of my friends after telling me that he didn’t want to be stuck with the financial burden of my student loan. I take care of myself thank you, presumptuous d bag.

I’ve been on dates here and there since hot mess, with no luck. I’d like to think that I’ve grown and am better able to trust my instincts but the odd d bag still intrigues me. To be completely honest this handsome guitar playing teacher has been texting me. We met on a dating site (I know terrible). Conversation was amazing at first but now I go a week without hearing from him. What’s up with that? I mean a couple days I get, personal space is a beautiful thing but a week! I think he is now being labeled Mr. Game Player. Obviously something fishy is going on there. My body says heck yeah but my mind says no, think it might be a good idea to trust my head on this one.

All in all, looking at the types of guys and relationships I’ve had over the last three years I’ve decided that I clearly need to spend more time getting to know myself. Hopefully Mr. Right is out there somewhere, hopefully I’ll meet him in this lifetime. I’ve been told you have to kiss a few frogs along the way.



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