The date that left me doing some serious thinking


Father and son cowboy boots. by Tanateel | Stocksy United

I have been staying off of my online dating profile lately. I’m an independent lady that doesn’t need a man, hear me roar! However the odd time I get curious and I have to go check if I have any new messages. Well about a week ago I logged into my account to find a handful of messages. I filtered through them..dud…too young….douche…oh hey this guy seems GREAT!!

So I started messaging back and forth with this mysterious guy. I found out that he is a single father of one little boy about the same age as my guy. Usually I don’t date guys with children, it’s just a rule I’ve set for myself. I once had three lovely step children and it ends in heart-break so I don’t want to get attached. However, I have a good feeling about this guy. We have the same taste in music, seem to share a lot of the same values and wowza he’s so funny!

So I had a few free minutes while the kiddos were at school and I was between shifts at work. I decided to be confident spritz on some perfume and meet (drum roll please) The Lumberjack for a quick coffee. Well he’s adorable. Pick up truck, sporting a neat ginger beard, beautiful eyes and a great energetic personality. I’m feeling confident about this one!

So after we get our coffee (he paid) we parked near the water and chatted. I don’t want to ask how he became a single father because frankly it’s none of my business until he decides to tell me. I mean, I don’t spill all of the details about my children on a first date so I didn’t expect him to either. However, as we were talking the things I learned about his family struck my heart.

We were talking about work ethic and how important it is when The Lumberjack confided in me about the terribly sad events of his past. He said that he had to take some time off of work previously due to illness in the family. He told me that his mom had been critically ill and that he spent a lot of time with her before she passed. What a touching story, I can’t imagine how I’ll feel when I lose my mom. After telling me about his mom he then told me about his son’s mother. I was thinking maybe she just wasn’t ready to be a mom and took off, some women can’t handle motherhood. Boy was I wrong, unfortunately him and his son lost her when she passed away suddenly a few years back.

Well, I completely appreciated the honesty of our conversation but I found myself at a loss words. I think I said, wow that’s terrible because it truly is terrible. I can’t even imagine how it would feel to lose the love of your life, the mother of your child to illness. It’s not like they broke up or something silly like that. She was taken from her family, from a two-year old boy who won’t grow up to know his mother. It just made my heart so sad thinking about their son and how he won’t even have a memory of his mother as he grows up.

It makes me angry that I had a father that made the choice to bow out of my life. He wasn’t ill, he didn’t die, he just didn’t want to be a father. How dare someone make that choice! The Lumberjacks little boy doesn’t have a mother because she died to young not because she ran from a responsibility, the gift of being a parent. This little boy will grow up knowing that he had a mother that loved him very much but unfortunately is not there to see him grow into a man.

The Lumberjack seemed very put together about the entire situation, time heels all wounds. I’m sure he has personal demons to fight but don’t we all. I’m not sure where this dating thing is headed but I know I’ve made a new friend. I have so much respect for this man after a two-hour coffee date. I left there thanking God (well the higher power) for the health of myself and my children. Life is to short and we should cherish every minute.





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