The Life of a Serial Dater

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heartThe world of dating has been a heck of a journey for me. I’ve met an interesting cast of characters, as you know if you’ve been keeping up with me. If not check out my bitter rantings on d-bags and catch up, promise it won’t disappoint!

My friend and I came up with a few theories about dating as heavier girls. This is what we think goes on inside of a mans mind…

1) We think guys target heavier girls because they assume we have low self-esteem and will be easier to get into bed.

2) They think we will try harder to please them because we might not typically be desired by most guys. If you don’t know how long you will wait for the next guy to come along you will try harder to hang on to this one, right?

Also as a single parent it’s an assumption that you will be easy. Society has made people come to the conclusion that all single mothers are promiscuous.

I personally think it’s disgusting that people think this way. There are so many single mother’s out there that were in what they thought was the perfect relationship and it just didn’t work out. Reality is, life is messy and things don’t always turn out the way they were meant to. That does not mean that us single mothers slept around and got knocked up.

So the other day I joined Twitter. The first person to chat with me said he was single, no kids and that he and I should get together. First thought, I have no clue who you are. Second thought, wow that was forward. So I replied, yes I am single but have two children and I don’t know you. Brace yourself for what came next. This guy had the audacity to say…

You must really like sex to have two kids already!

My reply….

Actually my husband unfortunately passed away a few years back. We were actually planning a family together.

So I lied, I feel slightly bad but honestly I think someone needed to put that guy in his place. Who even says that to a woman!

I have to admit I’ve become a serial dater over the past three years. I’ve dated all kinds of guys thinking it likely won’t amount to anything. Well, I met a guy last night that challenged my way of thinking.

I told him my theories about dating single moms and heavier girls. He admitted that yes guys actually do think that way. Point for my friend and I, we know how to crack the mind of a man! However, he took it a step farther. He asked how my last relationship ended. I told him it was partially because I had been cheated on. Pause….. well that makes you defected! He pointed out that girls that have been hurt in the past purposely date “the bad guy” to avoid those dreadful things called feelings. With the bad guy you know it won’t last long before he does something to mess the relationship up. No intense feelings, no mess.

Normally I would be defensive but I have to say I agree. The idea of being in a long term relationship sounds amazing! I would love to have someone to cuddle with at night, a partner to share my exciting news with and eventually a man to share my kiddos with. However, when all comes down to it I am that girl that runs before there are any serious feelings. I don’t want to go through the pain of being hurt again.

Now I am wondering, will I forever be a serial dater? Will I ever let the feeling of loving someone else in again? I find myself confused about what I really want and need now. Am I really as confident as I thought I was or am I just to afraid to let someone in and running the risk of him breaking me down…. oh anxiety how I loathe thee!  

 

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2 thoughts on “The Life of a Serial Dater

  1. Excellent post and comments. I agree with you about how men feel about overweight women and single moms. My sis, divorced a year due to a cheating husband, and raising 3 little kids, has seen first-hand how ridiculous the assumptions are about single moms. Horrible.

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