Beach Babes and Beach Bunny but Where’s my Beach Hunny?

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Today was a perfectly lovely day! The weather was sunny yet cool. The wind was just right. The water was calm. The kiddos swam and played for hours.

I feel content yet discontent at the same time. I find myself wanting more. I’m loving all the time I’m spending with my kiddos, working their summer camp. It’s a blast. However, it would be nice if Mr Right instead of Mr Right Now would make an appearance in my life sooner than later.

The idea of sharing my life with someone other than my children is starting to grow on me. How many frogs does this girl have to kiss?

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I Know a NICE SINGLE GUY

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One of my best girlfriends texts me out of the blue today. The text read, I know a nice single guy. The first thought I had was, gosh is it that terrible that I’m 28 and single. Second thought was, hmmm do I want to date someone described as nice. I mean I want a man with good values but I also like a man that’s a little rough around the edges.

I feel that I’m at a comfortable place right now. I have my children, my career, a new business venture and I’m working on my health. I really don’t know where a new man would fit into my hectic life.

A single nice guy should sound appealing to me. However, I may be hopelessly attracted to the d-bags. I think at this point it just might be safer to stay away from men altogether!

The Mistake that Changed my Life

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I knew you were trouble when I first met you. There were signals and warnings to stay away. As time went by you grew on me like a bad weed. At first easy to get rid of, eventually thick and strangling. You hurt me more than anyone ever could. You cheated, you lied. You made me feel like I was incomplete as a person. Until the bitter end when I realized that you were the one that was incomplete, not myself.

You are by far my favourite mistake. Without you I wouldn’t have this amazing little boy who calls me mom. He’s smart, generous, has the BIGGEST heart and so much more. I thank you. You took me to hell and back but I came out swinging. I came out stronger. I came out being the best parent I can be to my little man. I will raise him to respect the women in his life and instill the morals that I believe in. I thank you for this beautiful gift that I am grateful for everyday.

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I’m just over here like…

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A guy friend just sent this to me and said that it reminded him of me. Reaction, should I be proud or sad? I feel like I should go pick up a bottle of wine! I know one thing that is true, I do love my Sandbanks Shoreline fruity white wine(once in a while). It comes second to my children of course. Verdict is I should feel slightly sad that I love wine more than men yet AMAZING for not needing to have a boyfriend. I may want one but I definitely don’t need one!!

Beard for Boobs

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I need to delete my online dating profile. I’ve already concluded that I’m not ready to date. I have to get back to me, as lame as that sounds. However, I think I will miss the entertainment it provides me.

The latest online interaction…

Tagline: beard for boobs

Well this guy is classy…

Message: Hey lil’ Miss County girl. How are you darlin’

Hmmm bearded and from Trenton…

I say, What up hairy Trentonian?

Some small talk occurs, I couldn’t help myself but to poke fun at his profile… one of his three hobbies listed was texting. Is texting actually a hobbie? If so do I want to date someone who texts so much that it is considered a hobbie? I think I might be an asshole… excuse my language but I’m very picky and I call guys out on their shit. Could this be why I’m still single?

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The Life of a Serial Dater

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heartThe world of dating has been a heck of a journey for me. I’ve met an interesting cast of characters, as you know if you’ve been keeping up with me. If not check out my bitter rantings on d-bags and catch up, promise it won’t disappoint!

My friend and I came up with a few theories about dating as heavier girls. This is what we think goes on inside of a mans mind…

1) We think guys target heavier girls because they assume we have low self-esteem and will be easier to get into bed.

2) They think we will try harder to please them because we might not typically be desired by most guys. If you don’t know how long you will wait for the next guy to come along you will try harder to hang on to this one, right?

Also as a single parent it’s an assumption that you will be easy. Society has made people come to the conclusion that all single mothers are promiscuous.

I personally think it’s disgusting that people think this way. There are so many single mother’s out there that were in what they thought was the perfect relationship and it just didn’t work out. Reality is, life is messy and things don’t always turn out the way they were meant to. That does not mean that us single mothers slept around and got knocked up.

So the other day I joined Twitter. The first person to chat with me said he was single, no kids and that he and I should get together. First thought, I have no clue who you are. Second thought, wow that was forward. So I replied, yes I am single but have two children and I don’t know you. Brace yourself for what came next. This guy had the audacity to say…

You must really like sex to have two kids already!

My reply….

Actually my husband unfortunately passed away a few years back. We were actually planning a family together.

So I lied, I feel slightly bad but honestly I think someone needed to put that guy in his place. Who even says that to a woman!

I have to admit I’ve become a serial dater over the past three years. I’ve dated all kinds of guys thinking it likely won’t amount to anything. Well, I met a guy last night that challenged my way of thinking.

I told him my theories about dating single moms and heavier girls. He admitted that yes guys actually do think that way. Point for my friend and I, we know how to crack the mind of a man! However, he took it a step farther. He asked how my last relationship ended. I told him it was partially because I had been cheated on. Pause….. well that makes you defected! He pointed out that girls that have been hurt in the past purposely date “the bad guy” to avoid those dreadful things called feelings. With the bad guy you know it won’t last long before he does something to mess the relationship up. No intense feelings, no mess.

Normally I would be defensive but I have to say I agree. The idea of being in a long term relationship sounds amazing! I would love to have someone to cuddle with at night, a partner to share my exciting news with and eventually a man to share my kiddos with. However, when all comes down to it I am that girl that runs before there are any serious feelings. I don’t want to go through the pain of being hurt again.

Now I am wondering, will I forever be a serial dater? Will I ever let the feeling of loving someone else in again? I find myself confused about what I really want and need now. Am I really as confident as I thought I was or am I just to afraid to let someone in and running the risk of him breaking me down…. oh anxiety how I loathe thee! Β 

 

25 Songs 25 Days: Day 8 – A Song that Reminds you of your First Love

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My first love will always remain as a special part of my life. He gave me my beautiful daughter and for that I can’t regret a single moment we spent together. We have been through our ups and downs over the years. Unfortunately more downs then ups. We lost touch for six and half years, he left when I was four months pregnant. Luckily we touched base again about a year ago, put most of our differences aside and agreed to let our daughter get to know him. She deserves a chance to know her father, I never got that chance!

It’s funny how things change, when him and I were teenagers we were so in love. Growing up to quickly and having to make big decisions really defined who we were as people. Taking it back to the beginning of us, this song sums up just how I felt about my first love. Back when I was a carefree dreamer. When he sang this song it made me melt. It will forever remain a special memory. Too bad he is just becoming the man he could have been the entire time.

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