My Unraveling Hero

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I look up to my 82 year old grandfather more than he will ever know. He has been the most consistent male figure in my life. I have nothing but good things to say about this man. He’s always been a hard worker, devoted husband to my grandmother (passed away) and a fantastic father/grandfather. He saw my very ill grandmother through to the end. He attended doctors appointments, dialysis and was the sole provider for the family. He has always been there for my mother or my siblings and I in times of trouble. I only hope to be half the person that he is someday.

Over the last few years we’ve grown a little distant. I’ve grown up and changed. He has a new lady friend. Basically life has just moved on and become increasingly hectic. Recently however, I was given the news that my papa had been diagnosed with alzheimers disease. Even though the family saw it coming it breaks my heart.

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One thing I love is seeing my papa light up when he sees his great grandchildren. Sometimes it’s a few weeks between but I always notice his spirits lift when the kiddos are around. I’m not sure how long he will remember them or even myself, so we have been trying to visit more.

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The last visit kiddo had with his great papa was heartwarming for me to watch. My son was so excited to help his papa “do wood” and papa was excited to teach kiddo. I don’t know who enjoyed the experience more!

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Watching my son and my grandfather interact brought a tear to my eye. I hope that I get to keep this amazing man for a little while longer. I’m not ready for him to unravel like a scarf just yet. The idea of him forgetting who we are scares me. So for now, I’m making as many new memories as I can.

The Mistake that Changed my Life

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I knew you were trouble when I first met you. There were signals and warnings to stay away. As time went by you grew on me like a bad weed. At first easy to get rid of, eventually thick and strangling. You hurt me more than anyone ever could. You cheated, you lied. You made me feel like I was incomplete as a person. Until the bitter end when I realized that you were the one that was incomplete, not myself.

You are by far my favourite mistake. Without you I wouldn’t have this amazing little boy who calls me mom. He’s smart, generous, has the BIGGEST heart and so much more. I thank you. You took me to hell and back but I came out swinging. I came out stronger. I came out being the best parent I can be to my little man. I will raise him to respect the women in his life and instill the morals that I believe in. I thank you for this beautiful gift that I am grateful for everyday.

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Music Makes My World Go Round – Country Edition

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Through out my life there have been many songs that have related to a certain time or situation that I have been going through. I could write about a million and one of them but I’m only choosing three for today. Three country songs that pull on my heart-strings. Enjoy!

 

Thompson Square – Are You Going to Kiss Me or Not

When I think about the kind of love that I want, I think of this song! It’s sweet and sincere. The couple that sing it are actually a real life couple. How cute, right? It makes me feel all mushy inside. I want raw emotion and straight to the point! The question remains though, are there any of these sincerely sweet guys left that are not married? One can only hope, I mean I’m not getting any younger. If not, this chick is pretty independent and self-sufficient. I honestly just adore Are You Going to Kiss me or Not, it makes my sunshine and rainbows side come out. Plus the singer has wicked hair, I love the black and blonde!

Tim McGraw – My Little Girl

Every time I hear this song it makes me think of how a father is supposed to be. How I would have wanted my father to have felt about me. I never had the chance to get to know my father but I do know my little girl. This song has been our song since she was in the womb. I fell in love with it, how it captured the love that a parent has for their little girl. Every word, every emotion in this song relates to my relationship with my daughter. She’s beautiful from the inside out and I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter. I feel protective of my little girl, even though I know she can hold her own. I know one day she will be grown but she will be fine because I know she is a brave, smart and creative girl. I’m the mother and the father of my children, it’s okay for me to steal a father/daughter song.

Little Big Town – Pontoon

Every time I hear this song I am transported back to the summer of 2012, hanging out with Mr Drunky Monkey. It makes my heart ache a little bit. He LOVED this song and played it loud and proud every time it came on. The cutest part is that he had my daughter hooked on the song as well. To this day she still asks me to put on, on the pontoon. I miss watching my kiddos and Mr Drunky Monkey singing and playing together. However, I still know that things worked out for the best. I sometimes think he is the one that got away. However, my children deserve much better. I deserve much better!!

The Purest Love

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I will forever be grateful for my children. The ways in which they have helped me grow as a person are unmeasurable. Way back in the beginning of parenthood I felt lost but always in awe of my precious baby girl.

I think the love thatΒ  us parents have for our children is the purest love that exists. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I’m just over here like…

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A guy friend just sent this to me and said that it reminded him of me. Reaction, should I be proud or sad? I feel like I should go pick up a bottle of wine! I know one thing that is true, I do love my Sandbanks Shoreline fruity white wine(once in a while). It comes second to my children of course. Verdict is I should feel slightly sad that I love wine more than men yet AMAZING for not needing to have a boyfriend. I may want one but I definitely don’t need one!!

Momma vs. Miss Tiffany

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Over the last two years I’ve had the privilege of working with my two beautiful kiddos. I took a child care job in a school out in the country away from the busy city where we lived at the time. It seemed perfect. My daughter was able transfer to the school to be with me. I ran a kinder program on the days when she wasn’t attending senior kindergarten and my son’s child care was a two minute drive away.

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S made her own princess dress and crown in my class. What a talented little bean.

Working with S last year was a breeze. She understood that at home I’m momma and at school I’m Miss Tiffany. I got to see her learn and grow as an individual. Honestly it was fantastic!

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This year my son entered junior kindergarten and I have him in kinder class every other day. It’s been a roller coaster of a year. The first month or two, my sweet darling baby boy was a complete maniac. He took advantage of the fact that I was his momma, after all he knows me better than any of the other children.

After coming home from work crying multiple times I decided that it just had to stop! I told E that there would be consequences to his actions and then followed through. I also praised E everytime that I saw a positive attitude coming out of him. It was tough and it took some time but it worked.

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Vinegar, baking soda and food colour. What a fun experiment!

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Our current challenges are working on putting a stop to the tears, appreciating girls and staying awake for an entire school day.

I find E cries a lot more in my classroom. He views me as comfortable so I understand why. However, I have to be a little tougher about it at school. This one is hard for me but it will be good for him in the long run.

The boys in my classroom have started a “He man woman haters club.” It’s heart breaking to see my son participate in girl bashing. He was raised solely by myself for three years. I hope that he grows up respecting and appreciating women. I’ve raised him to know better and I constantly remind him of this while at school. I’m actually proud as I’ve seen him break away from the boys a little more to play with the girls, yay!

As for staying awake, this is a lost cause for now! He’s tired and still requires a nap. I work long hours starting very early in the morning so I understand why he is tired. I’m tired also.

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Despite the negatives there are also huge positives to working with your children. I get to see behind the scenes. Many parents don’t get to see their children at school and be in the loop with their teachers. I love seeing them interact with their friends. When they get excited about an experiment or project I planned I feel accomplished.

I may get tired of spending soo much time with my children but I’ve experienced so many ups and downs with them. It’s been a true challenge of character for myself. I’m pretty proud of the little people I’ve raised even if they are stinkers at times.